The funds from the donations will help cover the cost of the props and materials needed to build the installations and sets for the photographs. They will also help cover the cost of studio space rental if the installation takes more than a couple of hours to set up. I want to be able to at least give a symbolic payment to compensate those who participate in this project for their time or cover their travel expenses for coming to the studio.

Part of the proceeds from the sale of the prints will go to support established organizations assisting those living with chronic illness or disabilities. I hope to dedicate another part of the proceeds to support the art projects or start-ups of those living with invisible illness or invisible disabilities.

More on the project idea:

One of the major challenges of living with an invisible illness is feeling invalidated by those who don’t understand it as it quickly leads to a lack of accessibility. Comments such you “don’t look sick” or are “too young to be sick” are commonly heard. It shows how significant of an impact the “invisible” part of the illness has on living with it –lack of understanding leading to loneliness, and frustration when even physical suffering is invalidated by those whose description of illness we don’t fit. When people look at me, they can’t see through me like a CT scan and know the damage inside. All they see of my illness is the functioning outside on the days I’m functioning enough to be seen. Though many continue to educate the public and speak openly about their conditions, the constant hurt from having to prove their pain to a society that will invalidate their illness for what can’t be seen is why many don’t speak about their illness and instead, suffer in silence. I cover up my blotchy skin with makeup, I put glitter on my eyelids, and I get dressed in colorful clothes to project the idea that I am ok. It is only when someone touches me that they feel my permanent fever and are shocked to see me going about my day, breaking through the illusion I shaped. This is why I chose to depict this theme through surrealism.

The emotions that will lead me to create many of these images will originate from a place of difficulty and sadness, but the images are meant to bring a certain comfort. This escapism from hardships might not be evident at first glance especially to those unaware of the project idea or life with invisible illness. The lost meaning might lead some to diminish my work to nothing more than a “pretty picture” due to the charm of surrealism and the vibrant visual aesthetic I’m know for. Though my aim is to make the art work universally understood, I don’t want to change it in order to cater to an average person’s understanding of illness as it so often excludes invisible illness and that’s the focus of this project. I want to give a new perspective rather than continue to portray things in a way that society currently sees what it means to be ill. Life with any illness is difficult and brings on conflicting emotions and challenges. I want some of my images to be a break from it and instead of showing our suffering through photographs of hospital windows, to showcase that we are so much more than our illness. I want these images to be captivating through their magic, to then bring understanding, and to those that don’t understand them I hope they too enjoy them, even if it is as nothing more than a “pretty picture”. I don’t want those works to evoke the sadness I feel – I want them to bring comfort to those that already feel it.

DISCLAIMER:

I am aware that I am working with a vulnerable subject as this is a vulnerability of my own. Because living with an illness or disability is a very individual experience, the emotions and coping mechanisms can vary greatly from person to person. The experience is influenced by many external factors such as financial circumstances, access to support, access to treatment, prognosis, gender, cultural impact, and many more. Multiple of these factors have had a major impact on my life and thus shaped the way I live with my condition. Because of this, it will be clear that the art work is not meant to depict a universal experience but rather to be a collection of some of the ways invisible illness has been experienced by various people.

There will be input and contributions to ideas from others in this community, some having asked I create a photo showing their coping mechanisms or thoughts and even having them in the photo because I understand their vulnerability, but as stated before, these will not show anyone in their vulnerable sate. I will also not attempt to present experiences of others based on my assumptions of what it would be like. Because the intent of the project is to depict feelings or thoughts as entities separate from literal situations and present them through surrealism (not to photograph the literal experience), it will avoid presenting anyone in a vulnerable state. Anyone who wishes to model for the project or contribute their experience or thoughts can remain anonymous. They will also be transparently informed of the intent of the project and that the final images will be on display for the general public to see. If anyone revokes their consent after a piece has been created, the piece will be replaced by another work. Any works that do show a more vulnerable idea will be self-portraits and coming from my own vulnerability.

Lastly, because some chronic or invisible illnesses can affect the immune system, the direct physical participation of others will have to be adjusted accordingly to the Covid-19 situation at the time.

FAQs

How will you use the funds from donations?

Since I plan to build sets for the photographs, majority of the funds will go into the materials and props necessary to construct them. Some of the funds will cover the studio space rental. I hope to be able to give a small, symbolic compensation to those who participate in this project as the time and energy of most chronically ill people is very limited. I want to at least cover their travel expenses

What is the timeline for this project?

I hope to start with this project as early as October 2021 (funds and help permitting) and have it completed by the end of 2022.